[5] Are you listening?

Think of a friend. Or a teammate.

I'm exhausted ~ they might say to you at one point or another. Feeling stuck; Can't cope with this; My work is so damn hard; I feel trapped in my own mind ~ they might add.

Do you respond with:

• I don't care. And then walk away, never to talk to them again.

Or do you say:

• Tell me more. Then, lean into the conversation, listen carefully, share advice, offer support, and try to figure things out ~ together.

👀 Well, this was rhetorical, yes. We all know the answer, and we all know the importance of listening. Without it, there wouldn't be any communication, connection, or community. Not really.

But, then again.. Do we listen enough? Close enough? Often enough? Intentionally enough?

A word of wisdom

"What if we gathered together in a space and shared with each other: how we are feeling; what we are thinking; and what we are hoping for," creators of Spaces for Listening, Brigid Russell and Charlie Jones, wrote back in 2020, when they first started organizing these gatherings as a way to improve the quality of our listening and our appreciation for each other.

Spaces for Listening are still going strong, after 500 sessions. The main outcome?

"When we create space in which we genuinely listen to each other, we open up the possibilities for connection and trust. We enable ourselves to hear our vulnerabilities and what feels important, both to ourselves and others; we get to experience both our commonality and our differences," Brigid Russell and Charlie Jones have concluded.

A sense of play

👆 Inspired by Spaces for Listening, you can create your own listening spaces as meaningful gatherings with friends, teams, communities.

How it works:

• Gather in a small group
• Ideally, 6-10 people at once
• Take turns in three rounds
• Everyone gets 2 mins per round
• Share your truth, listen to others

Each round has a dedicated question/prompt.

💖 Round 1: How are you, and what is on your mind right now?

👀 Round 2: Reflect on what was said in Round 1; address if something has changed your feelings.

🌟 Round 3: Share one thing you'd like to take forward; appreciate what has resonated with you the most.

That's it. Simple and effective, with three core principles ~ equality of listening, fair to everyone; hosts are equal participants, they also share and listen; participation is voluntary, people can decline to share.

You can organize it once, or make it a recurring event. Either way, it's a chance to understand each other, start important conversations, and make real, substantial change within your team, org, and beyond.

A thing of beauty

While staying as a guest of Princess Marie von Thurn und Taxis at the Duino Castle in Italy, Rainer Maria Rilke – as described by his biographer Donald Prater – transcribed words he heard ‘through the roar of the wind’. They became the opening to his sequence, the Duino Elegies: ‘Who, if I cried out, would hear me among the angels’/hierarchies?’

The words he heard through the roar of the wind. Oh, Pocahontas would love the sound of this. Because ~ when she was in doubt ~ wind (and Grandma Willow) sang to her, too.

"What is my path? How am I ever going to find it?" Pocahontas asked. "[...] All around you are spirits, child. They live in the earth, the water, the sky. If you listen, they will guide you," Grandmother Willow answered. [...] "Let it break upon you like a wave upon the sand. Listen with your heart. You will understand."

Grandma Willow has known it all along 💕 We simply need to listen more ~ and more fully. Listen to our voice within, listen to each other, and listen to nature's spirits everywhere around. Listen with our heart. We will understand.